My kidnapping by Inanna Justice, Madame Lule, Domina M, Calliope & Mia More
It was quite a unique experience and clearly one of the highlights of my year 2019.
I put out the article on Nanny Alice six months late because she didn't agree to let me do one at first, before changing her mind upon a new request from me. This article also came out almost six months late, but for other, more personal reasons. I feel a bit bad, it was supposed to come fast. The more time went by, the less I wanted to face this accumulated delay!
All this had been organized by Inanna Justice, with whom I had become close, after our first encounter. She was aware that this scenario of SM kidnapping was one of my fantasies, and she gave me the great gift, with friends, of making me live this experience.
I place this experience in the sessions category of my site, even though it is not a usual professional experience. I'm quite annoyed, as soon as something comes out of my little boxes, I lose my head :-). So I have to be adaptable and flexible here... not easy!
The only (major) difference with my usual encounters here is that I didn't have the time to think several weeks, several months, about the session, as it was a surprise. So I have nothing to write about the anticipation part, which is missing. As I know myself, I also think that this also played an important role in the delay of this article.
• Inanna Justice, the woman I know
It's very difficult for me to present her as I could for the other dominatrixes on this blog, because I've become intimate with her. I didn't experience that distancing through her character, the character of a professional mistress on whom I always throw all my personal projections and perceptions. Inanna Justice, I've always known her as someone close to me, and that changes everything in the way I live the relationship.
I could dedicate an entire article to her, but it wouldn't be in line with the tone of this blog. I could even write an article about how I felt, two days after our first encounter, when she cooked me a simple plate of pasta with pesto sauce at her home. It seemed like the best meal I'd ever had, simply because she had cooked it especially for me. The fact that it means so much to me probably says a lot about who I am and who I used to be, and I am fine with that.
I, who grew up quite isolated, rubbing shoulders with a colourful and sparkling profile like hers and getting dragged around has given me a significant experience; an experience other than the ones I can live in my head, hidden under my blanket.
It is also indirectly thanks to her that I was able to interview Mistress Blanche (coming in a few weeks!). She had dragged me to a birthday party of one of her friends where she was invited at the end of 2019. There was Mistress Blanche, and although I was less than two meters away from her, I didn't dare to say hello to her. A few months earlier, I had the feeling that I was making a complete fool of myself in front of her in an e-mail exchange, as I am so good at doing so, capable of drowning myself in a glass of water. I was too ashamed to contact her again after that so I gave up the idea I had had for several months to interview her.
But seeing her two meters away from me and feeling too embarrassed to greet her allowed me to take things in hand. It just wasn't possible to be that stupid. So I contacted her a week after that evening when I pretended not to see her for the ten minutes I stayed there. There were far too many people in far too small a place, I was gone in no time. Also, there were too many known and unknown faces in one place.
In short, Inanna Justice's law of attraction application depicts on me when I hang out with her, often for the better. Also, we differ on so many things that we complement each other well.
Last summer I wondered if I didn't want to leave Paris. There's nothing better for me here than all the cities I've been to before. Asking questions to myself, I could do it somewhere else. I would almost regret coming here if it weren't for the difficulties I encountered and the lessons I learned.
I finally stayed and it gave me the opportunity to meet Inanna Justice. It's so hard for me to connect with someone that it's enough to justify my decision. She came to pick me up, I had that chance. I'd like to keep her as a close friend in this life.
• Inanna Justice, the professional mistress
Now let's talk about the professional mistress, an activity this woman is so passionate about!
Coming straight from the North American continent only a few years ago, Inanna Justice brought a breath of fresh air to the ocean of Parisian domination. For example, she started the monthly Dominas Dinner event, held on the first Friday of each month, where colleagues can get together and share their experiences and advice.
Also, she has organized and would like to continue to organize trainings by and for professional dominatrixes. The most recent one, I believe, was on first aid in case of an accident, a training given by a nurse who was hired for the purpose. More than having energy and ideas, Inanna Justice knows how to make it happen.
Since this article is about my kidnapping, you should know that she has a dedicated page about this scenario she proposes, both alone and with dominatrix friends, depending on the extent of the fantasy.
As much capable of being sensual and warm as she can be cold and hard, Inanna Justice reminds me of a carnivorous plant. By coming to offer yourself to her, you risk being devoured, without knowing what sauce she will use on you.
As already said, it is difficult for me to develop more than that on the character of Inanna Justice, in that I know the person very well, and am too close to her to still have that mystery which makes my imagination work and impresses me.
In any case, I can easily say that she is driven by a certain passion, and that any submitted client would certainly grow out of a session with her. Behind her impulsivity and her certain appetite for all-action, hides mastery and thoughtfulness, a meticulous work.
I had first met Madame Lule on a café terrace, as I was accompanying Inanna Justice taht afternoon, a few weeks before this kidnapping. She kept fiddling with her electronic cigarette, it confused me a little, I didn't understand what she was doing with it.
I already "knew" her, in that I had visited her site a few months before, on the advice of a reader with whom I sometimes discuss on Fetlife, who I hope will recognize himself if he reads me. I had visited her site but I had not put her name aside for a future visit. There was a lot of sophistication throughout her site, her very rich cultural universe, high standards, a lot of things that are beyond me.
In these cases, I guess I'm afraid not to be good enough. Much more junkyard dog than royal poodle, I know my reach. After getting to know her "in real life", I have come to the conclusion that I need to seriously reconsider my way of setting sites aside. Or rather the way I hold myself back. That means that if I had to do it all over again, I'd go running to her.
I have to make some confessions about Madame Lule, because there the character does exist toh me, but it bothers me to do so knowing that she might read this article. Let's say that from now on, I hope I'll never meet her again, otherwise my only desire would be to hide under a table. Ironically, it would be much easier for me to be on all fours with a collar around my neck if I had to be in her presence again.
So: I totally bug in her presence. I'm turning into Windows Vista. Geeks may be hilarious when reading this comparison. For those who don't get it: I feel out of breath in my head every time I have to converse with her. Not that it's unpleasant for me to do so, though.
Madame Lule makes me feel self-conscious about my brain. I feel like she's outpacing me by 100% on this field. To sum up, I would say that I fall into the category of those who have the social capacity of a subway seat, but who have a good sense of observation and a rather cold reflection. But her, she seems to have it all! It's as if when she created her character on The Sims, all the cursors were set at 100, without having to make any compromise.
I watch her, and what I envy most about her is her ability to go from quiet intellectualization to frivolous and trivial laughter at any second, without any transition. Me, I don't even need a transition but three light years. I just wonder how she does it.
And the more I try to make a good impression, the more I feel like I'm sinking in. The worst is when she looks at me without saying anything, her eyes slightly laughing. Then I stutter all the way to my brain and feel like I want to disappear. I feel like I'm at the zoo, I'll let you guess which side of the fence I'm on. Luckily for me, I've never been in her presence when she had a peanut packet in her hand. I fear the worst.
Rarely, if ever, has a woman seemed to me to hold the title of Madam so well. Both in what you see and in what you guess, she breathes the classical and idealized imagery of the Madam. Precious and distinguished, she nevertheless makes herself accessible, almost like a favour granted to the most clumsy. The strength of people who no longer feel anything to prove, I think.
I have fun transposing Madame Lule to all time periods, and she manages to remain convincing in all circumstances. In all scenarios, she remains Madam, one of those we find hard to imagine as a young girl, as if she had come into the world to understand it without even having had to experience it. The experience of her life, she bears all the benefits of it but manages to conceal the wounds.
She impresses yet you would think she doesn't even try to do it, the concern to be what she loves is enough for her. I'm not hiding the fact that I really like Madame Lule. It's not necessarily good news because it means being a bit foolish in front of her.
The kidnapping here took place in her home, where her play space is set up. So after the effort, I was able to take a shower in her bathroom. I would have liked to spend the night in this bathroom to examine everything, without necessarily touching, just to come out full of her print. There's something very personal about hers, and I love women's bathrooms, it exudes intimacy. Maybe that's the side of me looking for closure here.
Sometimes I tell myself that my life would be much simpler if I could only be a Madam's make-up remover pad. But I went against myself, I didn't want to have the rudeness to linger in this sacred place, so I hurriedly took a shower without spending any more time on my feelings and even less on what I was seeing. Good behaviour only makes sense when no one is there to see it, in my opinion.
Loyal to what she radiates, her style of domination is rather sensual but no less firm or even severe. The few who would not have the obvious inspiration to respect her will soon be forced to do so.
In the same way that one listens better to the one who does not shout; when Madame Lule's words become sharper, her syllables drier and her speech rate faster, I disappear completely and just nod. I am thinking of one moment in particular in the writing of these lines, which will be described below. Consequently, her warmth and sensuality appear even more precious when one is allowed to experience it.
I was able to write that I would like to be reincarnated as a Mistress Euryale handbag. I know that here I would like to be shrunken down and find myself locked up in Madame Lule's handbag. And too bad if I have to find myself next to her electronic cigarette, without understanding what she does with it. That'll be the price I'll pay for the chance to be next to her.
Domina M, like Inanna Justice, is American. New Yorker, to be precise. I don't know her very well, the only things I see of her are the things she's willing to show. Then more importantly, I've only met her once! Her presentation and the two others to come will be much more concise.
A very international professional dominatrix, she lived for several years in Barcelona after her long experience in New York, and is now based in Paris. She also travels to Hong Kong, Dubai, among others. SM businesswoman, she produces a lot of videos, some of them will be offered for free on her Pornhub account.
It is thus the most perfect illustration that professional domination can be a profession, and not just a job.
I know her first and foremost through her testimonies and opinions. I am a member of the American forum Domina.ms, where submissives and professional dominatrixes share a rather sane atmosphere. I come to annoy the world with my articles! I also react to certain topics. There are feedbacks from both sides, it's very interesting. I spent a lot of time there last summer, when I was on holiday.
I had also loved my little reading on her Fetlife profile, where she reveals the behind-the-scenes work of a pro domme, and the period when she tried to rethink her business model to adapt to even the most modest grants. Fascinated by professional mistresses, their courage and what they offer to the world, I am always very fond of discovering those little things that I can never suspect.
In short, Domina M is a bit like the long-haul flight of professional domination, a Boeing. Great experience, great attention to detail, great professionalism.
The presentation will be even shorter! I didn't know her before this fantasy came true. I don't know her at all even now, except for a few conversations I had with her at the dinner after the abduction. We only talked about things from her personal life, so nothing that can be reproduce here.
But I'm not taking any risks by presenting her to you as a dominatrix who makes no concessions. You either bow down or you take the door, and if you don't do it fast enough, you get it in your head.
Click here to visit her website.
Like Calliope, I didn't know her, and I still don't know her any better today! Mia More seems to be a sex worker in a more common sense. As I write this, she's in Tokyo! I couldn't say more, except that she was driving a Mini Cooper.
Sitting on the terrace with Inanna Justice, I knew something was going to happen to me, but I didn't know when or how. It was evening, it was dark, not too cold. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but what is certain is that I didn't expect it to start here on the terrace of the café. So it came as a surprise when Inanna Justice slapped thumb cuffs on me. Standing up, I follow her to a Mini Cooper that had just stopped a few meters from our table. It is by realizing that no one cares about the scene that I have the confirmation that I am not the center of the world. I then discovered Mia More, the pilot of my hearse.
I'm being tossed on the back seats like a sack of potatoes, I know I'm gonna get cooked. Back seat is where Domina M is sitting, which I then discover for the first time without a screen in between. The car starts without my being able to check the tyre pressure. I receive a text message from an unknown number. I am informed that my kidnappers want to extract information from me, and I am told about that secret information in the same message. I memorize it, I won't say anything! But the Bonnie's have another agenda, and they clearly don't need Clyde to complete it.
Deprived of my phone, I was put a hood over my head, still handcuffed, after Domina M placed two clamps on my tongue. I can't see anything any more than I can control the situation. The thumb-cuffs are starting to hurt me badly on one of them, and at that moment I wasn't relaxed enough to fully accept the pain, even the simple discomfort, I'm looking forward to the release. I'm a little stressed, too. The car stops, so are all four of its occupants. The continuation, with more abuse, takes place at Madame Lule's, where she waits with Calliope.
In everything that follows, Inanna Justice and Madame Lule will have the main role. It's quite logical: one knows me very well and the other was playing at home.
• The need for an entrance gate
Having entered Madame Lule's apartment, I am quickly invited to free myself from my clothes. I do so, however still too much in my thoughts.
I am thus naked and tied arms, hands and ankles to a chair in the centre of Madame Lule's torture chamber. Inanna Justice gags me with a worn black sock. My left biceps will hurt for several days after this experience. My sudden movements that came later forced the ropes to call me to order. It was nice to keep this slight pain, I felt more alive.
Bound on this chair, I can no longer abandon myself, forced to stay with myself, unable to escape. I'm left for a moment alone on this chair, curtains drawn, closed with myself.
Inanna Justice had covered my penis with another sock; but the tent was still a work in progress, and the circus sign only says "coming to your village soon". I do not have an erection, even though I was forced and humiliated by five women. Tied up, gagged, it's uncanny that I remain so cold. After the first ten seconds, this observation only feeds itself: it's not very exciting not to be excited. It almost became worrying, I couldn't understand why I was so neutral, and once I get bogged down in my thoughts, I'm quite unable to get out of it, recovering is difficult.
Inanna Justice returns to the room, with company. The game begins, I'm threatened and told I'm going to be made to spill the beans. Only then do I see Calliope for the first time, sitting far from the stage, just looking. This discovery only adds to my discomfort, which begins to overwhelm me completely, and the sock covering my genitals still points down.
If I take the time to develop this aspect, it is all because the story has a happy ending, with Madame Lule who came to save me, perhaps without realizing it, I don't know. She wasn't wearing a cape, heels are enough for her. She came close to me, spoke to my ear with words that, at the time, relieved me even more by their form than by their substance. In a low, warm and calm voice, she makes contact with me and acts as the light at the top of the well I had gotten myself into. I needed this song.
That song, I could only listen to it, not comment on it. Madame Lule made me shut up with her hand covering my mouth. Firm, this hand made me silent physically speaking, but also in my defective mind. It had stopped the hemorrhage of my uncontrolled thoughts. Besides, I've already had the opportunity to talk about it on this blog, I particularly appreciate this practice of handsmothering.
With this intervention signed by Madale Lule's hands, I relax completely without really being able to understand why, and the tent finally rises, I am now well and truly installed in the scene, I am connected where I am supposed to be. Even though the game had barely begun, this moment will remain one of my favourites. Even though I didn't understand this slackening, I could feel it happening, during those few dozen seconds when Madame Lule let me go. Physically and especially psychologically, I had let go in front of her, for my own good. It was the first time that I had been able to feel so explicitly an "entry gate", the first time that I had needed one. In any case, it allowed me to appreciate all of Madame Lule's talent.
• Repressed insolence
I'm now completely in the game and in the moment. The password I had to protect was "Alice in Wonderland". Four of the five investigators of this kidnapping didn't know it, and this little touch of realism is pleasant. Still tied up (I'll stay tied up until the end), Inanna Justice begins to take care of my case, as much as it is possible with me. I'm not masochistic physically, even rather cozy, it's not like I can be covered with blows. She was even very careful that day. Still, I have a rather strange relationship to pain. A strong pain, as a legitimate and meaningful punishment after a real mistake, will go much better with me than a series of ten small, classic, meaningless blows. As if the filter of guilt allowed me to go beyond a certain stage.
Anyway, Inanna Justice is giving me a little bit of a hard time, especially with my nipples. As the chief kidnapper, she asks me for the first time to reveal the precious information to her. It is in a malicious masochistic pleasure that I answer her with a smile, after having marked a short silence: "never! ». I like to play with fire, of course. I got burned: I take a slap that really hit me. That makes me less cheeky now. I think that's when Domina M, Calliope and Mia More started to join the scene. They gravitated around my chair like predators around a prey.
I take a few blows, but nothing that breaks me down! The highlight of this first half of my kidnapping is yet to come. The blows "for fun" are always more or less useful, but do not inspire me much, where it will be the greatest pleasure for some others.
• « Yes Madame »
Inanna Justice comes back with the power of a freight train. It's in the middle of a burst of slaps that her fingers come to whip my chest, causing even a tiny bleed that we'll notice at the end of the game. The pain at the time was very sharp, and I wonder how it could have hurt so much, just with fingers. In any case, I screamed, a real spontaneous and uncontrolled scream, a cry from the heart, to evacuate the pain as much as the surprise.
That bark was the mistake that brought Madame Lule back to the spotlight. So I'm not sure it really was a mistake after all. In any case, she comes out with a temper that I hadn't noticed until that moment. Annoyed by my scream because she was concerned about the peace and quiet of her neighbours, she grabbed me by the chin, even more firmly than I could write. I was impressed, almost speechless, I hadn't imagined her like that. With sharp words, she urges me to keep quiet. Thanks to her, never again will I need to open a dictionary to remember the exact definition of the word "order".
Before her authority, I regretted my scream even more than I regret my life before I was born. To tell the truth, I didn't feel the game at that time. I was almost shocked to see her being so firm. I was pinching my lips. I was silent! In any case, she had put the palm of her hand on my mouth again.
It wasn't enough for her. Only five seconds have passed since her hand came to the support of my face, and she ends her reprimands by forcing me to look her in the eyes. A glance that I hadn't taken the liberty of crossing, already blown away enough the way she had imposed herself on me. I make the insult of making her repeat herself, but not a third time. I look at her. At that moment, if I were an ice-cream, all that would be left would be the cone.
Because a masterpiece understands the importance of finishing in splendour, Madame Lule concludes by asking me if I have understood correctly. I say yes. I understand. It's still not enough for her, and she says a "Yes Madame" in a tone that makes it clear that I had to repeat after her.
It's still my eyes in hers, kidnapped in my head, that I then repeat after her. "Yes Madame", as an obvious, honest surrender, so much so that even the most obscure history books will not be able to question it. Not only had I understood that I had to keep quiet, but I had just experienced the best of all the moments spent tied to that chair that evening, in the space of only ten seconds, maybe fifteen.
• At Madame Lule's hands
After that, to find myself separated from Madame Lule would have seemed quite cruel. Perhaps I vibrated so strongly in the moments before that the forces granted me the favour of making her stay with me. At Madame Lule's hands, she controls my mouth and nose. For several months now, I've been wondering why finding myself confined in the hands of a woman confuses me so much. I'm still looking for the answer, it will come one day.
Not a lot of things give me such an important feeling of intimacy, in its physical translation. If the outside of a hand doesn't make a big impression on me, the inner side seduces me. The same goes for the feet, by the way. I feel like it's precious. How good it is to be a prisoner in the hands of a Madam. Those with whom she dresses, does her hair. For the greatest of my pleasures, Madame Lule will repeat more than once these holds on me. Compressed by her palm, I merge with the lines of her hand. She freezes my breath and makes the punishment last. I can no longer breathe and yet I feel more liberated than before.
My energy is leaving me as my body demands oxygen, I feel like I can see more clearly in my head. I no longer have the leisure to give way to my polluting thoughts when survival calls. It makes me feel good, I no longer have subtitles in my film, not even that tired and stumbling narrator. Under the pressure of her hands, I get back to basics. Like a transfer of vibrations, she feeds me with her presence while I expel mine. Her skin against mine, I absorb. In any case, I have no choice, and that's where it's so beautiful to me. She smothers me, lets me catch my breath for two seconds, and smothers me again. And again, and again. I drown between her fingers and let myself go completely. Both physically and intellectually, I have the real feeling that I belong only to her, in the moment. It wasn't unpleasant, as I said, I really like Madame Lule. With my face masked by the hands of such an elevated woman, I discover new horizons and visualize another self. It was lost in Madame Lule's hands that I felt I was finally found.
• The actual torture
It is from this moment that Domina M, Calliope and Mia More will be more present. I'm still tied to my chair, arms, wrists and feet. I won't hide the fact that Madame Lule's interventions had completely made me forget that I still had to protect an information.
I've never been tickled so much in my life. With five pairs of hands, fifty fingers, it was an easy win for them. Tickle's like alcohol, a little is good, it disinhibits. Too much, you could almost become someone else. It would have been impossible for me, even ten minutes after the scene, to remember who was where and doing what at what time. In front of me, behind me, on the side, I was overwhelmed. I never can describe what it feels like to be subjected to a never-ending tickling. I only see colours in my mind, I'm incapable of the slightest look back at myself as was the case in the previous part with Madame Lule.
Blinded by psychedelic colours that are printed under my eyelids, I can only hear my laughter, covered for those of my torturers. My brain is out of order, I exist only through my uncontrolled movements. It is at that moment that a rope will have traumatized my biceps, a souvenir that I will keep for several days. After the first uncontrolled laughs, it really becomes more of a torture than a pleasure. How hard it is to endure! Well, I can't complain about it.
The helplessness felt here will be increased tenfold by the simultaneous use of two vibrators on my erect penis. It will last long and pleasant minutes. I'm teased like a car that is never taken out of the garage, that you just start up to remind her of what she's missing. Caught by my penis with those vibrations, caught by the rest with those tingling fingernails, I'm completely overwhelmed. Obviously I like it, obviously I feel lucky.
I'm finally untied and laid down. Inanna Justice rolls me up in Madame Lule's boudoir carpet. I feel like a giant burrito, unable to get out of this situation. I have to say, it was kind of fun being rolled up like that. With my belly facing the ground, she sits on my back, while I can guess Calliope and Mia More, who continue to act upon my feet, still tickled, while my breath runs short, chest compressed, being crushed under Inanna. I can't take it anymore, I'm so exhausted that I don't even feel the energy to laugh anymore, it's too much, I'm even glad it's over! I would have given up my password at that moment if someone had asked me. I was dragged and beaten. I lost.
After the endless tickling and the explosion of feelings, I am freed from my burrito and invited to lie on my back. While Inanna Justice is getting ready, Madame Lule spoils me one last time with her hands covering my lips. I love her hands and what she does to me with them, and it's always a pleasure for me to think about it, even today. The next thing, the eruption, will be the show stopper.
• Mount Inanna eruption
I'm lying on my back and Inanna Justice stands above me. Culminating, she urinates on me. I couldn't feel anything, except my body pulled by the moldings in the ceiling of Madame Lule's apartment. I felt lighter. I wasn't moving, yet my entire field of view was in motion.
Like if I was in levitation, I here knew the happiness of no longer intellectualizing my emotions. I let myself be consumed and metaphorically penetrated by the eruption of Mount Inanna, a volcano that was no longer extinct. Its lava flowed over my genitals, then came to kiss me up to my chest. I catch fire, but I have no desire for help to intervene. Phoenix, I love clichés and I am determined to see this one through to the end: I will be reborn, once again, until the next time I enter the coffin.
Soaked with human warmth, as if to make up for a historical lack in me, I no longer wonder where the world is going, nor myself. I exist and, rare thing, I manage to make do with it. In this, my inner peace found here contrasts with the apparent decadence of the scene. I know the pleasure of the fall without the impact, the vertigo on the ground. Covered by Inanna Justice's liquid extension, I feel protected.
Just as passive as the plastic tarp set up for this game, I take the time to enjoy my little death. My little deaths are for me one of the little pleasures of life. I die burned and drowned under that lava, I climb to the ceiling and see the saints. Then I am reborn, stronger than before. Having become volcanic stone, I reach a robustness that has always made me dream, which I will certainly never really have.
Finally comes rebirth, less pleasant than death, inseparable from the fact of having to reconnect with my body. That's it, I'm starting to get up, what misery. I go from a relieved spirit to a spirit doing in spite of what it is. Tragedy, I am once again responsible for what I am: I doubt. Happy to have been so close to Inanna Justice, to the point of feeling her spread over me.
• Missing orgasm
It's almost become a habit in these last few encounters, I couldn't come. As with Blancheuryale, the pressure handicapped me. Inanna Justice tells me that I only have several tens of seconds to come, Madame Lule starts a "ticking" that disturbs me.
Failure before the finish line. In front of those ten eyes, I didn't get out of the ditch, and it was rather embarrassing, but clearly not surprising. I feel like a bad, unsuccessful artist, I don't know the obligation of result, only the obligation of means, and it is when nothing is expected of me that I express myself best. Too free or just unable to bear the pressure, I still can't decide.
End of the game, I feel grateful. Domina M leaves us, while the rest of the group goes out to dinner. It was nice, it allowed me to have a little chat with someone other than myself. It was normal, I don't have much more to say, we were eating and talking. I was still the one who spoke the least, I was a bit of an intruder! But above all, I like listening as much as talking, if not more.
The end of dinner still has a place on this blog. Inanna Justice, who likes to tease me so much sometimes, spits in my coffee. Ok I like coffee, but still! Then the cup goes around the table and is enhanced by the saliva of the three other women. Inanna Justice will do the same for my glass of water. I was so happy that Mrs. Lule added to it too. Of course I drank. Dying, all right, no problem, but not because of dehydration. For the moment I am still alive, and the experience described here is one of those that encourage me to stay that way for as long as possible.