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Reasons why I love meeting professional mistresses

Professional domination is too often subject to insulting reactions from self-proclaimed purists. I regret this lack of nuance.

Pro domina dungeon

Some of the points that will be discussed here are also valid with dominant women who do not make it a financial activity. I am not trying to say that the link is exclusive to professionals.

On the other hand, meeting professionals allows you to experience these points in a larger volume and intensity than in private relationships, where the prerequisites are more restrictive -and that is very logical!-

Finally, I am not trying to say that I systematically prefer paid relationships to private ones. I myself am very open to private relationships, where the anchor points are very different. As we say in France, one does not preclude the other. L'un n'empêche pas l'autre.


#1 - Each professional mistress carries with her an entire world, her own world

This is my main point. Each new experience with a professional dominatrix represents a new world to discover. Indeed, I am one of those who consider that there is not one BDSM, but plurals BDSMs, as many as there are different individuals.

If we assume that it is a psychological and intellectual discipline among other things, then the same practice will have an infinite number of different approaches, depending on who is going to perform it.

It is a real pleasure to be able to confront each time a new approach, new habits, new codes... This ranges from the most theoretical concept to the most practical detail.

Suspension frame in a BDSM studio

It's something I personally love: the discovery, no matter how small it may be. To be able to compare, to be surprised, to think about the why and how... When you know that each code and habit of a professional mistress has been thought out beforehand, I experience it as a little intellectual pleasure to enter into this world that she has set up. It's that world, and not another one. It is HER world, and not another.

It is very personal here, but it is a privilege for me to discover a woman's personal environment and intimacy, through every choice she has made in her activity. Indeed, whatever it is, it will always be unique.

This discovery of a unique world is even expressed through the place chosen for the session. Some receive in their personal apartment, often partially equipped, others in a dedicated dungeon, whether it is independent or adjacent to the dominatrix's personal living space, out of access.

Before, during and after the session, I am drawn into a world that is not my own, far from some limiting thoughts that we all have. It is a breath of fresh air, a fresh and refreshing discovery, far from my own world.

The reason I insist so much on this is because there are very few opportunities in our lives where we can so directly access the very personal emanation of so much work, reflection and experience.

#2 - It is an opportunity to experience the same practice... differently

This is only an extension of the first point, but from a much more concrete point of view.

Take a practice, any practice. Let's take the example of being gagged. Something I personally love. There will literally be as many different approaches to this practice as there are professional mistresses. Some will love doing it, playing with it and taking their time. Others will take it as a formality that should not even be emphasized. For others, it will be a matter of observing the reactions of the submissive and adjusting accordingly. You can continue the list... It can also be a combination of these three points depending on the content and atmosphere of the session. Depending on the personality of the woman, and therefore of the mistress, the gesture can be more or less fast, more or less firm, more or less neglected, more or less adapted to the context...

It is a real pleasure for me to observe this every time.

No practice will look like the last time you experienced it. This is because the practice will bear the personal mark, the footprint of the dominatrix you will meet.

Medical play tools

Thus, the experience gained with each new mistress visited is truly appreciable.

As a lover of certain practices, whatever they may be, I find it a chance to be able to experience the same practices with different women. It is each time new, each time different, each time meaningful.

#3 - It's always an excitement and stress to face

I find it exciting and stressful to visit a woman you don't know, after a few emails, at best a call. These are emotions that we do not find, or with less intensity, when we are used to a person.

This is indeed an asset of these new meetings.

I both love and fear the feeling that I have a few minutes, a few seconds, before ringing at the door of a new mistress. I feel so small and more alive than ever. I'm scared but I can't wait.

St Andrew Cross in a dungeon

I know that the woman waiting for me behind the door knows my most intimate tendencies. In addition to that, the situation naturally puts her in a high position compared to me. Although we are equal as people (?), I never feel this equality at the very first glance exchanged, less than one meter from each other, at the moment of discovering each other. I come to give myself up entirely, to expose myself. To give her the keys to me, give her a real control on me.

In this way, I feel a certain magic in these interactions. A very rare intensity even before the session, emotionally strong, which makes you almost addicted.

#4 - I meet outstanding women

I can easily be accused of a lack of impartiality or detachment, and I will accept this accusation. But to me, professional dominatrices are always interesting as persons first and foremost. Much more than the average person. And there are reasons to this.

• They are not afraid.

It takes a certain courage meeting unknown men, sometimes at your own home. Not everyone can do that, especially in our today's western society.

Also, it takes a certain amount of guts, again, to be an assertive, dominant female, with the social codes of our society -the same goes for being a submissive male-. In any case, professional mistresses always implies a strong and assertive personality. This strong personality is here regardless of their dominant role and sadism. There are many men with sadistic fantasies that are not the most assertive. So sadism and confidence don't always go together!

• They give without receiving

So ok, it is a profession, or at least an activity, and they are paid for it. But still. I find that it takes a certain strength to give so much without actually receiving.

During the session, they are constantly focused on giving pleasure (even if it goes through pain), giving attention (even if it goes through ignorement). Also, they give of their self and get personally involved, because you can't really control a submissive client without giving yourself up, at least in part.

Whereas a private D/s relationship leaves some room for personal return from the submissive, it is different in these types of paid meetings.

Multiple floggers

What do they get in exchange for these personal donations, apart from money?

Money does not do everything.

In many cases, it is not her client, with his erect penis, who will take care of her well-being or happiness.

In most cases, these are unilateral meetings. And I find that you have to be quite strong as a person to be able to bear to give of yourself to people who are not always very receptive, apart from their own pleasure. And I partly include myself when I say that. I don't mean to say I'm above the crowd.

Anyway, I think it can be emotionally exhausting.

Nevertheless, I must temper my own views. Perhaps they are fuelled by the honest surrender and letting go of the people who come to see them. Somehow, it may also be a way for the submissive to give of himself.

• They are intelligent and sensitive women.

I am talking here -and as always- about quality professional mistresses, in the way that they approach their activity with caution and professionalism.

Of course, once again, this point also works for non-professionals.

It's actually pretty stupid of me to separate the two profiles so much in this article. A woman who dominates in a professional capacity remains above all a woman who likes to dominate, money or not.

Anyway: intelligence and sensitivity.

I believe that we cannot master the art of playing with a person's emotions and sensations without being a more sensitive human being than the average. This requires a kind of sixth sense.

As always, there is a drawback to this sensibility. Unfortunately, in many years, I have seen some websites or blogs closed, or in standby, complaining about a lack of sensitivity, respect or reciprocity of the clients. This is in line with the above point. The process of giving without receiving, or receiving a little, is not easy.


There are certainly other reasons why I like these sessions so much, which do not necessarily come to mind when to write this article.

In any case, I have a lot of respect for these persons I'm talking about here, and I always try to do my best to give them back.

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